The Worst Music I Have Ever Liked

Posted on | March 12, 2011 | 1 Comment

I was twelve years old. Please don’t judge me. A twelve year-old cannot be trusted to make good choices in music, or in anything. And I may have been tweaked on acid most of that time. Hard to say. My memory of that period is hazy. But I purchased a single, on cassette tape, of Timmy T’s One More Try. Believe it or not this piece of crap sold more than a million copies and topped the Billboard charts in 1991.

Even worse than the awful sound of the “music” is the video. Don’t watch it. Just don’t. Okay, watch it, but ask your children and pets to leave the room, and watch it through your fingers like a horror movie.

Even worse than that is his other hit single, Time After Time. The video has been known to cause sterility. In every person who has ever loved you.

I am really, really sorry. I am sorry that I paid for this. And I am sorry it has taken me so long to ask your forgiveness. I wish I could return to 1991 and kill myself but I can’t because my time machine runs on baby orphans, and the voters of Massachusetts have deemed that “unethical”. Prudes. They don’t understand how bad this music is.

Category: Music I Used To Like
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Comments

One Response to “The Worst Music I Have Ever Liked”

  1. Ben
    March 12th, 2011 @ 6:51 am

    That song cast the same spell on me as a twelve year old.I think it’s because it seemed so heartfelt next to the Spin Doctors and Ugly Kid Joe.