Three For a Buck

You never had a ring or a yard
You’re getting much older too
When it seems it’s all over for you
Don’t blame the blacks, don’t blame the Jews
It’s all your fault, you bitch

And who’s the little fella asleep in your arms?
Another at your feet and two more by the bar
It’s like a white trash christmas card

And the twelve of you all live in your car…
It’s horrendously sad but I’m laughing so hard and I
I Gotta get a shot of this

If this plane’s going down
I want to take the helm and steer it straight into orphan town
If this is how life should be
I wanna take you all to hell with me
Probably need the company

You wasted your beauty and charm
I think you’ve got barf on your arm
When everything’s turning out wrong
Don’t blame your dad and don’t blame your mom
It’s all your fault, you slut

All my friends back then said you were a whore
Now your uterus, a revolving door, you know
Condoms are three for a buck at the drug store

Tiptoeing through my own complacent and mad
Now my life is complete to know that yours is so sad
It’s not the only thing that makes me bad

If this plane’s going down
I want to take the helm and steer it straight into orphan town
If this is how life should be
I wanna take you all to hell with me
Probably need the company

Hold on a sec I need another beer.
I’ve been waiting for this very day for twenty-five years
It’s like a feast for my ears

Allow a moment to bask in the glow
Don’t tell me I didn’t tell you so
You lost.
I won.
Hooray.

(Lyrics copyright Christopher Stetson Wilson 2009)