Songs that make the ladies' knees go all rubbery

Posted on | January 7, 2010 | Comments Off on Songs that make the ladies' knees go all rubbery

This is an actual graph from Jango describing gender and age preference for my song, “Eyes and Hands” (available in the player on this page). In these graphs, pink is used to enumerate females (*rolls eyes*) and blue enumerates males:

While I’m not writing songs in the interest of getting laid (“I was getting laid BEFORE I was cool”), it is certainly not lost on me that a song I wrote is STRONGLY PREFERRED by women ages 18-34. When I first saw this my assumption was that most Jango listeners are themselves ages 18-34, so the age range can be discounted. But then I saw this other graph for my song, “Colorful Kid” (also available in the player on this page).

Strongly preferred by old men and really young men.

What this means is that if I’m playing out, and I’m really REALLY horny and concurrently really REALLY desperate (these two often coincide), I should stick with the romantic stuff (Eyes and Hands) and not the more rock-friendly stuff (Colorful Kid), unless I’m horny for penis, which so far has never happened but anything is possible. Although, if and when I want old man cock, it’s MINE.